Livingston Cellars is the lowest tier of E. J. Gallo wines. We were so pleasantly surprised by the Gallo Hearty Burgundy, we thought we'd try the wine from one tier below, from Gallo's venerable Livingston Cellers brand. Accordingly, we picked up a bottle of Livingston Cellars' Cafe Zinfandel. The wine was, even in bottle, a surprising color; far lighter than Zinfandel would be, but darker than a "white" Zinfandel would be. The nose was, well, not just fruity, but almost artificially fruity. Quite honestly, it reminds me of the scent of unmade-still-in-powder form Strawberry Jello Gelatin.

It was unbelievably sweet; my companion said it was exceedingly reminiscent of undergraduate life and Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill wine—I note that currently Boone's Farm is a "malt beverage," but in the past it was a form of wine. Sort of. I further note that Boone Farm beverages are produced, not incidentally, by E. J. Gallo. Despite the Web site's assertion that Cafe Zinfandel is "A bright red wine with light floral and fresh berry notes, sparkling raspberry fruit flavor, and a smooth, refreshing finish," we declined to finish our glasses, and donated the remains of the bottle to the Cthonic imbibers, via the sink. This was, honestly, the farthest thing from wine it could have possible been. I do understand the appeal of sweet wines, and I've been known to enjoy "white Zinfandel," though the spicy red is far more alluring to me in its natural form. I can't fathom why anyone would subject the innocent grape to the sort of abuse that results in something like Cafe Zinfandel. With the wisdom of hindsight, I have to admit, I should have been better prepared.